To say that the Victorians had an obsession with death is putting it mildly. They were addicted to death; fascinated by it; entranced by it! Everyone has some sort of morbid interest in death, but to the Victorians, death and the rituals surrounding it were as important to them as the rituals concerning life. This fascination with death followed the Victorians everywhere and they revelled in it as much as they were repulsed by it. It was during the Victorian era that big leaps in medical science were being made. People were now starting to live longer, happier, healthier lives. But everyone knew that death was just below the surface. And everyone from Queen Victoria downwards, was fascinated by the subject. When her husband died, Queen Victoria wore black mourning dress for the rest of her life and she would sleep with a cast of Prince Albert’s hand next to her pillow so that she could hold him as she slept! She insisted that every single day, her husband’s clothes should be laid out, that his breakfast be prepared and that hot water be brought to his room every morning so that he could shave…even though he was already dead!
The queen was also fascinated by seances, psychics, mystics and the paranormal and this craze soon caught on with her subjects. It even became popular starting in the 1850s, to have mourning portraits done! What is a mourning portrait? Have a look below…
Also called a memorial portrait or a mourning photograph, these were photographs of the deceased taken shortly after death so that living relatives would always have a pictorial reminder of their dead loved ones to keep with them all the time. If you haven’t figured it out yet…the girl in the middle of her two parents is a corpse, dressed as she was in life and photographed leaning against her father’s chest.
Mourning portraits hit their peak before the turn of the last century and gradually died out during the early 1900s. But one of the most famous examples of the Victorian obsession with death isn’t the mourning portraiture, it isn’t Queen Victoria sleeping with her husband’s hand and it isn’t laying out clothes and preparing shaving water for a ghost who never comes to use them…it’s mourning-jewellery.
What is Mourning Jewellery?
Mourning jewellery was jewellery worn by both men and women on the occasion of a friend or relative’s death. Going into mourning traditionally meant wearing black attire for a period during and after the funeral, but also meant wearing mourning-jewellery.
Of course, mourning jewellery does predate the Victorian era, it’s been around for centuries, but it was a style of jewellery that is most closely associated with the Victorians due to their constant awareness of the fragility of life and the strict protocol that they had to follow when in mourning for a loved one. Pictured below is a typical example of Victorian mourning-jewellery:
If you think this is an ordinary watch-chain…think again. This is a Victorian-era mourning chain which a man would wear with his pocketwatch on the event of a relation or a close friend dying. Want to up the creep-factor? Those braids in the watch-fob aren’t made of cotton. That’s actual human hair! It was common in Georgian and Victorian times to keep lengths of hair from loved ones and braid it into ropes, necklaces and fobs to act as remembrance-tokens of deceased relatives.
Why Did People Wear Mourning-Jewellery?
Upon a person’s death, it’s always been traditional in Western society to wear black during a funeral. It was also traditional for a period after the funeral, to continue wearing black to indicate that you were in mourning for a close friend or relative who had recently died. Victorian morals dictated that it was disrespectful to wear glitzy, flashy jewellery when you were in mourning. Stuff like diamond earrings and pearl necklaces, solid gold pockewatch-chains and sapphire rings were to be worn for celebratory purposes such as weddings and anniversaries! They were totally unacceptable accessories to wear when mourning for a dead loved one! It was to fill in this empty hole in the jewellery market that mourning-jewellery was created.
A Victorian-era mourning-ring, again incorporating a lock of the deceased’s hair
People purchased and wore mourning-jewellery so that they could continue to dress up, but in what they felt was a more sombre and respectful manner, to reflect their current status of mourning. A wide range of mourning-jewellery was manufactured for both men and women, but it was almost always black, or at least had life and death motifs in their designs, such as hearts, coffins and skulls.
Traditions of Victorian Mourning
If Victorian social etiquette was strict, then Victorian mourning etiquette or protocol was evern stricter! Upon the death of a loved one, both men and women were expected to follow strict rules on how society expected them to act, dress and conduct themselves around others. Upon the death of a husband, a widow was expected to go into a period of Full Mourning, also called First Mourning, for 366 days exactly. During this time she was only allowed to wear black and could not appear in public without it. Neither was she allowd out in public without a black mourning-veil over her face to show that she was now a widow. If the woman was poor or if she had children to support, she was allowed to look for a new husband after this period of full mourning. If, however, she had no dependents or serious need for money, she would then enter a period of Second Mourning, which lasted for nine months.
Second Mourning meant a relaxation of the rules. The veil could be removed or at least raised when out in public, but mourning etiquette dictated that black was still the only colour that was permissible for clothing. It was during this nine-month period of Second Mourning that mourning-jewellery was created, and it would be the only kind of jewellery that a widow was allowed to wear until the official ending of her mourning.
After Second Mourning came the final stage of traditional Victorian mourning: Third Mourning. Also called half-mourning, a widow’s Third Mourning lasted anywhere from three to six months. During this time she could gradually start wearing more colourful and sociable clothing again. She would put away her mourning jewellery and start wearing ordinary jewellery again. If she was an independent woman or a woman of means, now was the time that society considered it acceptable for her to start looking for a new husband. Some women never got over the deaths of their husbands, however, and they could wear mourning-dress and mourning-jewellery right up until their own deaths. Queen Victoria was an extreme example of this. Her husband died in 1861, but she remained in mourning-dress for the rest of her life, another forty years, until her own death in 1901!
Mourning traditions for men were similar to women in that they were expected to wear black and wear no jewellery, or mourning-jewellery only, but male mourning protocol was different from womens’ mourning protocol because of the man’s role in society. A widower who had lost his wife was expected to mourn for two years, however as with women with dependents, if a man had children to care for, society did allow for him to end mourning sooner and go back to conducting business or work. An unmarried man who had lost a close relation such as a mother, sister or cousin, might carry out the full three stages of mourning, same as widows did, lasting the full roughly two to two-and-a-half years. With people dying every single day, you can bet that the industry concerned with the manufacture and sale of mourning-jewellery was big business in the Victorian era.
What was Mourning Jewellery Made Of?
One of the most popular materials used for the manufacture of mourning-jewellery was a semiprecious gemstone called jet. From which we get the term “jet black”. Although it was tricky to cut and carve, jet became very popular for jewellery during the second half of the 1800s up into the 1920s. An example of jet mourning-jewellery is shown below:
This 19th century mourning-brooch is made of jet
Jet was used to make traditional mourning-jewellery such as watch-fobs, necklaces, rings, clasps and brooches, but as mentioned above, the other popular material for the manufacture of mourning-jewellery was human hair! Not always black, it was common for people to keep a lock of a loved one’s hair after their death and perserve it as a momento of their deceased relatives. Depending on the amount of hair taken from the corpse, the momento might be braided into a rope and used to make a watch-chain (such as the one above) or a necklace. Shorter snippets of hair might be placed inside mourning-lockets such as the one pictured below:
Mourning lockets such as this one (made of gold, black enamel and pearls) were another very popular piece of Victorian-era mourning-jewellery and they often had little compartments or windows in the back where a lock of the deceased’s hair could be stored as a momento. Lockets like this one would have had a chain or ribbon run through the ring at the top of the locket and then it would be tied and hung around the widow’s neck as a pendant and necklace.
The End of Mourning Jewellery
Rather fittingly, the Victorian protocol of mourning, along with Victorian mourning jewellery, ended…with Victoria. When the queen died in 1901, traditional Victorian mourning clothes, jewellery and protocol died with her. People no longer wanted to wear black and be reminded all the time, of the constant presence of death. Changing values meant that such things were taboo and shouldn’t be mentioned in polite society. Death was everywhere and there was no need to have to remind people of it all the time. As the 20th Century progressed, Victorian-era views on mourning, how one should conduct oneself when in mourning, how long mourning should last and what a person could or could not wear during mourning, rapidly began to die away. A hundred and ten years after Queen Victoria died, all that most people today would know about traditional mourning rituals and protocol is that it’s traditional to wear black. Other aspects, such as the once common fashion of wearing mourning-jewellery, has been consigned to the graveyard of history.
Again, very interesting! I did know about the mourning portraits (quite creepy) but the mourning jewellery is a new concept to me. 🙂
Again, very interesting! I did know about the mourning portraits (quite creepy) but the mourning jewellery is a new concept to me. 🙂
I do not agree that all the mourning traditions of the Victorian age were creepy or even morbid. People of the Victorian age dealt a lot more directly with death and dying than our society in general does. The American Civil War is only a part of the magnitude of death that this generation experienced. Death is apart of life and cannot be separated from our total experience in this life.
I also do not believe the traditions started dying with Queen Victoria as my great-grandmother who was born in 1860 was still wearing mourning in the 1930’s when one of her 14 children died. The problem with the strict Victorian protocol has more to do with allowing grieving to take place at its own pace for the individual involved not as someone else dictates. Grief is hard enough to deal with without being isolated which the wearing of mourning clothing causes in more than one way. People should be able to express their grief in a way that they are comfortable with whether that be an outward or more private expression. Unfortunately, in our society now where black is not worn much, people are expected to get back to life as normal shortly after the funeral and those mourning do not have a protection like clothing to alert others of their recent loss.
There is still mourning jewelry today. There are urn pendents to carry ashes in and ashes can be made into diamonds to wear in jewelry. As far as hair, I asked my mother for hers when it started falling out when she had radiation to the brain for a tumor. I am so glad I have it (don’t think it is a radiation problem.) I could still put it in a locket.
As far as post-mortem pictures, I have taken those of my own family members and see nothing creepy or otherwise about them. Taking pictures is still practiced in many areas of the country.
Most of these practices bring comfort to the survivors just as a funeral is meant to do. That is what is most important about these rituals and traditions – to bring comfort and help the survivor to get through grieving which like Queen Victoria lasts for the rest of your life.
I agree with you, I think some of the mourning jewelry is beautiful, I saw a ring the other day that was round, gold, braided hair all the way around the ring. On the outside it said David in Diamonds, it was beautiful, so is the ring on the other page.
I’ve become fascinated by the Victorians, you also have to remember, if they had 5 children 4 died.
I fully intend to take a lock of my wonderful husband’s hair and combine it with mine in some sort of jewel.
Hi Allison. Child mortality was extremely high in the Victorian era. I believe the death-rate was something like one in four, or one in three children didn’t survive past the age of five.
Of course, the fact that there was no health regulations and extreme food-adulteration didn’t help matters…
I do not agree that all the mourning traditions of the Victorian age were creepy or even morbid. People of the Victorian age dealt a lot more directly with death and dying than our society in general does. The American Civil War is only a part of the magnitude of death that this generation experienced. Death is apart of life and cannot be separated from our total experience in this life.
I also do not believe the traditions started dying with Queen Victoria as my great-grandmother who was born in 1860 was still wearing mourning in the 1930’s when one of her 14 children died. The problem with the strict Victorian protocol has more to do with allowing grieving to take place at its own pace for the individual involved not as someone else dictates. Grief is hard enough to deal with without being isolated which the wearing of mourning clothing causes in more than one way. People should be able to express their grief in a way that they are comfortable with whether that be an outward or more private expression. Unfortunately, in our society now where black is not worn much, people are expected to get back to life as normal shortly after the funeral and those mourning do not have a protection like clothing to alert others of their recent loss.
There is still mourning jewelry today. There are urn pendents to carry ashes in and ashes can be made into diamonds to wear in jewelry. As far as hair, I asked my mother for hers when it started falling out when she had radiation to the brain for a tumor. I am so glad I have it (don’t think it is a radiation problem.) I could still put it in a locket.
As far as post-mortem pictures, I have taken those of my own family members and see nothing creepy or otherwise about them. Taking pictures is still practiced in many areas of the country.
Most of these practices bring comfort to the survivors just as a funeral is meant to do. That is what is most important about these rituals and traditions – to bring comfort and help the survivor to get through grieving which like Queen Victoria lasts for the rest of your life.
I agree with you, I think some of the mourning jewelry is beautiful, I saw a ring the other day that was round, gold, braided hair all the way around the ring. On the outside it said David in Diamonds, it was beautiful, so is the ring on the other page.
I’ve become fascinated by the Victorians, you also have to remember, if they had 5 children 4 died.
I fully intend to take a lock of my wonderful husband’s hair and combine it with mine in some sort of jewel.
Hi Allison. Child mortality was extremely high in the Victorian era. I believe the death-rate was something like one in four, or one in three children didn’t survive past the age of five.
Of course, the fact that there was no health regulations and extreme food-adulteration didn’t help matters…
I am following the old customs of my forebearers currently out of respect for my mother who passed away 1/17/2012. Maybe I have updated it a bit because I am wearing jewelry, but far less than I normally would and each piece has special meaning to me. I had to have some onyx pieces made up quickly because I had no black jewelry that was not “simple’, and finding jet is nearly impossible. I did find a jet barrette that I have worn at least once. When I go out in public my head is covered in black, either a hat (some even have a black flower) or a scarf, and I have ordered some broad black headbands for the summer. My clothing is always black. Most Americans don’t realize I’m in mourning because black is a such a fashion color, but I feel I am fullfilling a duty to show proper respect for my mother whom I miss dearly. For a year I will not attend weddngs or dances or festive events. I will be in black for one year, however I will be probably incorporating gray and then purple or navy as the year progresses. But, I’m not certain yet. It will depend on how I feel. My mother was a model in her younger days and I wonder what she would say to me wearing simple black for all this time. She was cremated and will eventually be buried in the town where she was born in Ukrainein a family crypt where several generations of her father’s family have been buried. Until then, I will have something black on all the time. After that, I guess I’ll just consider myself a fashionista again, though I suspect that I will still, in my heart, feel the loss of someone who was more like a friend or older sister than a mother. I strongly believe that there is something cathartic about the customs of mourning. We have a special service to mark the 40th day of passing. Quite to my surprise, that night was the first night in years that I had a truly peaceful nights sleep and I have noticed that I am becoming my old self again. I
I am so sorry for the loss of your mother. I, too, became more fascinated with how to appropriately express my state of mourning following my mother’s death. I had been raised in a culture where I had been taken to viewings and funerals from a very young age and was very aware of the customs, yet I wanted something more for my own experience. I even wore a black hat to my dad’s funeral while giving the eulogy. It felt right to me and provided some sense of comfort. Deepest sympathies.
I am following the old customs of my forebearers currently out of respect for my mother who passed away 1/17/2012. Maybe I have updated it a bit because I am wearing jewelry, but far less than I normally would and each piece has special meaning to me. I had to have some onyx pieces made up quickly because I had no black jewelry that was not “simple’, and finding jet is nearly impossible. I did find a jet barrette that I have worn at least once. When I go out in public my head is covered in black, either a hat (some even have a black flower) or a scarf, and I have ordered some broad black headbands for the summer. My clothing is always black. Most Americans don’t realize I’m in mourning because black is a such a fashion color, but I feel I am fullfilling a duty to show proper respect for my mother whom I miss dearly. For a year I will not attend weddngs or dances or festive events. I will be in black for one year, however I will be probably incorporating gray and then purple or navy as the year progresses. But, I’m not certain yet. It will depend on how I feel. My mother was a model in her younger days and I wonder what she would say to me wearing simple black for all this time. She was cremated and will eventually be buried in the town where she was born in Ukrainein a family crypt where several generations of her father’s family have been buried. Until then, I will have something black on all the time. After that, I guess I’ll just consider myself a fashionista again, though I suspect that I will still, in my heart, feel the loss of someone who was more like a friend or older sister than a mother. I strongly believe that there is something cathartic about the customs of mourning. We have a special service to mark the 40th day of passing. Quite to my surprise, that night was the first night in years that I had a truly peaceful nights sleep and I have noticed that I am becoming my old self again. I
I am so sorry for the loss of your mother. I, too, became more fascinated with how to appropriately express my state of mourning following my mother’s death. I had been raised in a culture where I had been taken to viewings and funerals from a very young age and was very aware of the customs, yet I wanted something more for my own experience. I even wore a black hat to my dad’s funeral while giving the eulogy. It felt right to me and provided some sense of comfort. Deepest sympathies.
I respect your ideas, mourning is not acceptable anymore, it’s on with the new forget the old. We are running from death but it catches us all in the end why not embrace it honor our loved ones and not hide it.
I respect your ideas, mourning is not acceptable anymore, it’s on with the new forget the old. We are running from death but it catches us all in the end why not embrace it honor our loved ones and not hide it.
in this day and age its all about forget it and move on with your life, but the problem with that is u pushing it deeper and deerper into ur feelings that at some point its just going to burst coz you cnt hold it in any more and instead of accepting it at you own pace you end up having a emotional breakdown wich is evan worse for you
in this day and age its all about forget it and move on with your life, but the problem with that is u pushing it deeper and deerper into ur feelings that at some point its just going to burst coz you cnt hold it in any more and instead of accepting it at you own pace you end up having a emotional breakdown wich is evan worse for you
hello, very interesting post.. can you tell me the bibliography? or some of the books that i can use for a reasearch that i do? ITS REALLY IMPORTANT…thank you in advance, Adigoni (spaniouad@aktocollege.gr)
Hi,
The two main sources I used for this are in the “ARTICLE SOURCES” page, about halfway down.
hello, very interesting post.. can you tell me the bibliography? or some of the books that i can use for a reasearch that i do? ITS REALLY IMPORTANT…thank you in advance, Adigoni (spaniouad@aktocollege.gr)
Hi,
The two main sources I used for this are in the “ARTICLE SOURCES” page, about halfway down.